i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
