oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Can you bring me the toilet please
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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