I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
