Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
