I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
