that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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