so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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