I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
pop tarts are not kleenex
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
