we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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