Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
