Is it normal to miss your booty call?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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