If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
