Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
