addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
