1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
