you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
