You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
it's like heaven, but drunker
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize