watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
is it fun? or sober?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
