So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Holy sore nipples Batman
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize