We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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