you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
