She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Do you have feelings for this penis?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
