yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
