my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
