...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
