how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
