Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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