she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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