I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
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