thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
