What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
