hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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