id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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