This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He? As in you personified your dick?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
