I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Quick, to the slutcave!
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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