I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
