You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
