haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
