My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
