I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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