i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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