I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
