Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
