if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
