awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
