I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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