Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
