dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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