Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
