i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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