no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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