Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
