And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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