We won't sleep together?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
