Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
