Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
