She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
