So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
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