I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
