I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
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