would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
