After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
