My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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