I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
