Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
