I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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