I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
