yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
