Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
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