I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
