She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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