I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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