UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
