girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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